The Umno ubiquitous open has mostly come opposite as reality comedy. Its 'performers' unwittingly entertain us with their unintentionally comic turns. This year, they didn't disappoint.
Wanita arch Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, whose family is inextricable in a National Feedlot Corporation (NFC) liaison which forced her not to renew her senatorship, says which for a arriving ubiquitous election, she is a winnable candidate. God assistance her.
Indeed, God was invoked upon multiform occasions via a ubiquitous assembly, infrequently for a sake of looking his help.
President Najib Abdul Razak urged Umno members to pray tough to God in order to win a ubiquitous election. "Let us pray so which with His blessings, you will go upon to be a country's statute party," he said.
The subtext of which smacked of a loss in confidence.
In fact, Najib's rhetoric in a past multiform months has been reflective of that. He has been practically vagrant his audiences to "give us another term", an interest no Umno leader has ever stooped to. They had regularly taken it for postulated which they would rule long-term.
He has been persuading voters not to change a government, as if he were expecting them to. He has been bashing a opposition parties during every accessible opportunity, to influence voters not to opinion for them.
At a ubiquitous assembly, he even entertained a awaiting of losing: "We can replace treasures or honour which have been lost, though if you remove this fight, you will be left with nothing."
He was of march exaggerating - given not winning Putrajaya d! oesn't amount to losing all - though he was yet acknowledging a probability of defeat.
No alternative Umno president prior to him has ever had to countenance that.
Apology as well little as well late! ?
Now Najib cannot bank upon a certainty of a Umno of a past to carry him cockily to a ubiquitous election; it has been as well deeply mired in corruption as well as cronyism, as well as a rakyat have got correct to it.
He even apologised during a ubiquitous open for all a wrongdoings of Umno as well as a alternative parties in a BN coalition. But, as they say, it might be a box of 'too little, as well late'. And it positively is of no use if a corrupt practices have been still continuing.
Why, for instance, he has not answered a allegations of businessman Deepak Jaikishan which for his assistance in facilitating a plan deal, his family was paid by a latter, as well as which Deepak got involved in a box involving a murder of Altantuya Shaariibuu given he longed for to assistance Najib's family? Why did Najib leave it to Defence Minister Ahmad Zahid Hamidi to volunteer to reply to Deepak?
This expos, a NFC liaison as well as a subject surrounding a RM40 million 'political donation' received by Sabah Chief Minister Musa Aman have caused infinite repairs to Umno. It might not fully redeem from a blows.
Even so, there was many brag flaunted during a ubiquitous assembly. There was talk among Umno leaders of winning a ubiquitous choosing with a two-thirds infancy as well as recapturing all a 4 states right away in Pakatan Rakyat's hands. They competence have prayed to God first prior to they offere! d these p! redictions.
Pahang Menteri Besar Adnan Yaakob even told a media, "I tell you, DAP cannot win in Bentong. Cannot win! If DAP wins in Bentong, you cut off my ears as well as I'll burst in to a Pahang river."
Such haughtiness! Well, only to see if he will keep his word, a electorate should opinion BN out of Bentong. Earless Adnan competence be a some-more humble person after that!
Hey, though a next day, substantially feeling scared which his Bentong prediction competence essentially prove wrong, he did a flip-flop. That, however, done him ! even som e-more laughable. He pronounced he didn't meant "cut off my ears" literally. He pronounced he was using incongruous language.
"Do you know incongruous speech? In English language, you have incongruous speech. We have simile, you have metaphor, hyberbole," he said. "So when you contend cut off my ears, which means they (DAP) can never win ... not which if you (BN) lose, they (the opposition) will take a blade as well as cut off my ears literally."
And because did he use "figurative language"? His reply: " to let people sense English"!
Ha ha ha! That got me rolling upon a floor - given "cut off my ears" is not during all a figure of debate in a English language. And it definitely wouldn't meant someone can't win. Adnan doesn't know which as well as he wants others to sense English? What a clown, a summary of a know-nothing who behaves similar to a know-all. Or a box of someone who's hold as well as simplytembak(shoots).
And given there's no such figure of speech, dear voters, greatfully go upon sharpening your knives.
!
Divine intervention badly needed
Meanwhile, enjoy a many hilarious, many unnoticed fun which came out of a open courtesy of Umno Youth report arch Reezal Merican Naina Merican, who pronounced Umno is a celebration selected by God to liberate a selected land of Malaysia.
Woweee! This is fresh, this is creative! This is divine!
He even pronounced God's selected people have been a Malays living in Malaysia.
But hang on, doesn't 'God's selected people' traditionally refer to a Israelites? And a selected land to a nation of Israel? Jews, baby.
Did Reezal make a boo-boo in comparing with a enemy? Was he even wakeful of it?
He pronounced God is a true authority over all governments, a giver of power to those which he has chosen, so he must believe which Umno-BN will win a next ubiquitous election. But what if it doesn't? Will he stop desiring in God?
What k! ooky thi nking. Here's something Adnan could sense from in conditions of a English denunciation - an e.g. of a hyperbole.
Reezal was substantially perplexing to outdo his Umno Youth boss, Khairy Jamaluddin, by waxing so hyperbolic. The day before, Khairy quoted from Winston Churchill's important speeches in his call to quarrel Pakatan Rakyat, though he patently went overboard.
He was comparing a next ubiquitous choosing to World War Two. But come upon lah, brudder, they're not a same lah.
While Churchill's "! you shall ! quarrel upon a beaches, you shall quarrel upon a alighting grounds, you shall quarrel in a fields as well as in a streets" as well as "we will go upon hand in hand similar to comrades as well as brothers until every heirloom of a Nazi system of administration has been beaten in to a ground" have been inspiring, Khairy's "we will debate them in Parliament, you will pound their arguments in coffeeshops, you will display their lies in cyberspace you will lay this unlucky Pakatan coalition in to a ground!" sounds terribly frivolous. Schoolboyish even.
Level of genius worrying
The scary thing about all this humerous entertainment is which among a people spewing this rubbish have been holders of tall open office, as well as which some of a Umno Youth upstarts might one day turn ministers.
Even outward of a ubiquitous assembly, you get a Malacca Chief Minister Ali Rustam, accusing Singapore of interfering in Malaysian politics simply given a briefing by French lawyers upon a Scorpene investigations in France was not long ago hold there.
Worse, final week Deputy Defence Minister Abdul Latiff Ahmad disparaged a name of French lawyer William Bourdon by changing a surname to 'Bodoh' (stupid). The jury might have no worry in determining who was being 'bodoh' in this case, though it showed a turn of class as well as intellectuality among a supposed leaders.
It is a turn of intellectuality which comes from decades of per! sonifica tion to a gallery, of pandering to a masses who have been deliberately manipulated to remain politically juvenile as well as intellectually challenged through being provided poor education. And so to strech out to these masses, a supposed leaders interest to a lowest common denominator.
They have been a avatars of "the devil you know" - a phrase Mahathir Mohamad not long ago coined to describe Umno-BN - as well as they mostly exhibit a misfortune characteristics of politicians. The consequential subject is: do you want these sorts to go upon leading a country? Do you want them to be a selected ones, i.e. selected by us? At a entrance ubiquitous election, do you opinion them in - again?
All you can contend is, God assistance us if you do.
Wanita arch Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, whose family is inextricable in a National Feedlot Corporation (NFC) liaison which forced her not to renew her senatorship, says which for a arriving ubiquitous election, she is a winnable candidate. God assistance her.
Indeed, God was invoked upon multiform occasions via a ubiquitous assembly, infrequently for a sake of looking his help.
President Najib Abdul Razak urged Umno members to pray tough to God in order to win a ubiquitous election. "Let us pray so which with His blessings, you will go upon to be a country's statute party," he said.
The subtext of which smacked of a loss in confidence.
In fact, Najib's rhetoric in a past multiform months has been reflective of that. He has been practically vagrant his audiences to "give us another term", an interest no Umno leader has ever stooped to. They had regularly taken it for postulated which they would rule long-term.
He has been persuading voters not to change a government, as if he were expecting them to. He has been bashing a opposition parties during every accessible opportunity, to influence voters not to opinion for them.
At a ubiquitous assembly, he even entertained a awaiting of losing: "We can replace treasures or honour which have been lost, though if you remove this fight, you will be left with nothing."
He was of march exaggerating - given not winning Putrajaya d! oesn't amount to losing all - though he was yet acknowledging a probability of defeat.
No alternative Umno president prior to him has ever had to countenance that.
Apology as well little as well late! ?
Now Najib cannot bank upon a certainty of a Umno of a past to carry him cockily to a ubiquitous election; it has been as well deeply mired in corruption as well as cronyism, as well as a rakyat have got correct to it.
He even apologised during a ubiquitous open for all a wrongdoings of Umno as well as a alternative parties in a BN coalition. But, as they say, it might be a box of 'too little, as well late'. And it positively is of no use if a corrupt practices have been still continuing.
Why, for instance, he has not answered a allegations of businessman Deepak Jaikishan which for his assistance in facilitating a plan deal, his family was paid by a latter, as well as which Deepak got involved in a box involving a murder of Altantuya Shaariibuu given he longed for to assistance Najib's family? Why did Najib leave it to Defence Minister Ahmad Zahid Hamidi to volunteer to reply to Deepak?
This expos, a NFC liaison as well as a subject surrounding a RM40 million 'political donation' received by Sabah Chief Minister Musa Aman have caused infinite repairs to Umno. It might not fully redeem from a blows.
Even so, there was many brag flaunted during a ubiquitous assembly. There was talk among Umno leaders of winning a ubiquitous choosing with a two-thirds infancy as well as recapturing all a 4 states right away in Pakatan Rakyat's hands. They competence have prayed to God first prior to they offere! d these p! redictions.
Pahang Menteri Besar Adnan Yaakob even told a media, "I tell you, DAP cannot win in Bentong. Cannot win! If DAP wins in Bentong, you cut off my ears as well as I'll burst in to a Pahang river."
Such haughtiness! Well, only to see if he will keep his word, a electorate should opinion BN out of Bentong. Earless Adnan competence be a some-more humble person after that!
Hey, though a next day, substantially feeling scared which his Bentong prediction competence essentially prove wrong, he did a flip-flop. That, however, done him ! even som e-more laughable. He pronounced he didn't meant "cut off my ears" literally. He pronounced he was using incongruous language.
"Do you know incongruous speech? In English language, you have incongruous speech. We have simile, you have metaphor, hyberbole," he said. "So when you contend cut off my ears, which means they (DAP) can never win ... not which if you (BN) lose, they (the opposition) will take a blade as well as cut off my ears literally."
And because did he use "figurative language"? His reply: " to let people sense English"!
Ha ha ha! That got me rolling upon a floor - given "cut off my ears" is not during all a figure of debate in a English language. And it definitely wouldn't meant someone can't win. Adnan doesn't know which as well as he wants others to sense English? What a clown, a summary of a know-nothing who behaves similar to a know-all. Or a box of someone who's hold as well as simplytembak(shoots).
And given there's no such figure of speech, dear voters, greatfully go upon sharpening your knives.
!
Divine intervention badly needed
Meanwhile, enjoy a many hilarious, many unnoticed fun which came out of a open courtesy of Umno Youth report arch Reezal Merican Naina Merican, who pronounced Umno is a celebration selected by God to liberate a selected land of Malaysia.
Woweee! This is fresh, this is creative! This is divine!
He even pronounced God's selected people have been a Malays living in Malaysia.
But hang on, doesn't 'God's selected people' traditionally refer to a Israelites? And a selected land to a nation of Israel? Jews, baby.
Did Reezal make a boo-boo in comparing with a enemy? Was he even wakeful of it?
He pronounced God is a true authority over all governments, a giver of power to those which he has chosen, so he must believe which Umno-BN will win a next ubiquitous election. But what if it doesn't? Will he stop desiring in God?
What k! ooky thi nking. Here's something Adnan could sense from in conditions of a English denunciation - an e.g. of a hyperbole.
Reezal was substantially perplexing to outdo his Umno Youth boss, Khairy Jamaluddin, by waxing so hyperbolic. The day before, Khairy quoted from Winston Churchill's important speeches in his call to quarrel Pakatan Rakyat, though he patently went overboard.
He was comparing a next ubiquitous choosing to World War Two. But come upon lah, brudder, they're not a same lah.
While Churchill's "! you shall ! quarrel upon a beaches, you shall quarrel upon a alighting grounds, you shall quarrel in a fields as well as in a streets" as well as "we will go upon hand in hand similar to comrades as well as brothers until every heirloom of a Nazi system of administration has been beaten in to a ground" have been inspiring, Khairy's "we will debate them in Parliament, you will pound their arguments in coffeeshops, you will display their lies in cyberspace you will lay this unlucky Pakatan coalition in to a ground!" sounds terribly frivolous. Schoolboyish even.
Level of genius worrying
The scary thing about all this humerous entertainment is which among a people spewing this rubbish have been holders of tall open office, as well as which some of a Umno Youth upstarts might one day turn ministers.
Even outward of a ubiquitous assembly, you get a Malacca Chief Minister Ali Rustam, accusing Singapore of interfering in Malaysian politics simply given a briefing by French lawyers upon a Scorpene investigations in France was not long ago hold there.
Worse, final week Deputy Defence Minister Abdul Latiff Ahmad disparaged a name of French lawyer William Bourdon by changing a surname to 'Bodoh' (stupid). The jury might have no worry in determining who was being 'bodoh' in this case, though it showed a turn of class as well as intellectuality among a supposed leaders.
It is a turn of intellectuality which comes from decades of per! sonifica tion to a gallery, of pandering to a masses who have been deliberately manipulated to remain politically juvenile as well as intellectually challenged through being provided poor education. And so to strech out to these masses, a supposed leaders interest to a lowest common denominator.
They have been a avatars of "the devil you know" - a phrase Mahathir Mohamad not long ago coined to describe Umno-BN - as well as they mostly exhibit a misfortune characteristics of politicians. The consequential subject is: do you want these sorts to go upon leading a country? Do you want them to be a selected ones, i.e. selected by us? At a entrance ubiquitous election, do you opinion them in - again?
All you can contend is, God assistance us if you do.
KEE THUAN CHYE is a author of a new book 'No More Bullshit, Please, We're All Malaysians'.
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Courtesy of Bonology.com Politically Incorrect Buzz & Buzz
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